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Potential New Pope Torpedoed By Racy Bike Week Photos

Latex_Nun_by_VBlancoSeveral  bike week photographs, taken 20 years ago, have torpedoed one of the front running candidates to replace the retiring Pope Benedict XVI, according to sources inside the Vatican who asked not to be identified

In 1992, when he was just 48 years old, Cardinal (then Bishop) Beagan Malachy took a walk on the wild side during Daytona’s spring bike week, and was photographed with a beer tub babe wearing a sexy nun costume.  According to the source, Malachy reportedly was also photographed later that same evening riding a Vespa down Main Street with that same beer maid as she flashed the crowd.  

Daytona Police allegedly stopped the Bishop but did not issue a citation, and the public affairs officer would neither confirm nor deny that the incident occurred.

The photograph surfaced on Twitter over the weekend, originating from @Nun_fantasy with the hashtag #raunchypope

Malachy joins  Dutch Cardinal Bonifacius Steuer as the second candidate to be taken off the short list of front runners to the papal throne.  According to the Borowitz Report, Cardinal Steuer attended Spring Break in Tampa and posted compromising Facebook photos to his account.

We reached out to Italian job placement specialist Alphonse Stigmatto , who was instrumental in helping several past Cardinals reach the upper echelon of Vatican politics, and he echoed the advice given by other experts “These photographs have a way of coming back at the worst possible times.  There’s not a Cardinal alive who hasn’t done something similar, but you just have to be on your guard and not let anyone get a photo of your face.  All things being equal, I think it was riding a Vespa instead of a Harley on Main Street that cost him the job. He should’ve known better.”

(our-advance-apologies to any offended Catholics)

 

 

 

 

 

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